Change or the end
This is my first post on this blog. And it will be a short one.
I have lots to say, just not right now.
For now, I just want to say that tomorrow I am changing. Not planning to change. But actual change.
I’ve entertained a smorgasbord of bad habits for way too long. But tomorrow I’m going to make change happen. Not all at once – but with swiftness and finality.
I’m partly posting this because I’ve got some chest pain right now, and I’m worried my long-held fear and paranoia of having a heart attack is actually happening.
And if it is happening – and it ends me – at least I got to say this in writing: I love my family, my girlfriend and my friends. And life has been pretty okay. I’ll remember group laughter and solo music listening most fondly.
And there’s a cruel, almost amusing irony of dying of a heart attack the day before I finally decided to stop the habits which so dramatically increased the chances of having one in the first place.
And hey, if it isn’t happening, there’s no better time to start living a proper life than the day after I thought it might all be over.
I’m going to bed now. Good night. Let’s hope it’s not the long good night.